tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that.

The Amateur, by Jamie Drew

She called out to him across the world, or to be more accurate, ‘she tweeted him’. “Are you ready for some REAL COLLEGE GIRL ACTION?,” she challenged. She was a spambot, but she referred to herself as a HOT, WET AMATEUR where sentience was concerned.

But that was fine! It was the future! She had a higher intelligence than most of the cast of Made in Chelsea! Really, the only obstacle in this tiny little romantic comedy was that his old man was unabashedly racist against non-meat-based intelligences. No, he’d never let his only son marry a few lines of code.

"Your grandmother used to live downwind of a server bank," he reminded his son. "It smelled funny."