tinylittlelovestories are a series of short stories, dumb-dumb. I mean: obviously. They are by Joel Golby and just hellaciously pretentious but jeez, they're only short. At least there's that.

The Flamboyant Sandwich

He was in Subway, bewildered, a sandwich artist in Latex gloves staring at him with adolescent contempt. “What do you want, dude,” he asked, all bristly moustache and an earring, all fifteen hard-ons a day. “Um,” he said. “Uh.” Eventually he managed to get something with meatballs in it, and salad maybe. ┬áHe spilled sweetcorn down his work shirt while a lunchtime queue spiralled behind him in a rage. “These modern sandwich shops, I just. I just.”

WHY HE HAD HAD TO GO TO ONE OF THESE MODERN SANDWICH SHOPS, ALL BROWN BREAD AND JALAPENOS

His wife of 39 years, Linda, who so usually made him every day a simple cheese-on-pickle-on-white bread and cut into four, had finally succumbed coma-wise to the ‘betes. He wrote as many of the words to ‘Without You’ as he could remember in a Get Well card and slipped it under her pillow that night with a single tear. “I miss you, Linda,” he said. “I miss your sandwiches with spread.”